I Don’t Wanna Be A Boss Bitch.

In today’s world, that might be the most radical thing a woman can say.

Somewhere along the way, feminism got rebranded.

What was once a movement to give women choices – to vote, to work, to own property, to be treated like full humans – turned into a one-size-fits-all lifestyle. One that insists the pinnacle of empowerment is becoming a “boss bitch.” Running a company. Hustling 24/7. Climbing the corporate ladder in heels (or Vans) and a blazer, never letting anyone (especially a man) take care of you.

But if I’m being honest, the deeper I go into that world, the more it feels like a scam.

I don’t want to grind my life away in the name of empowerment. I don’t want to live on Slack, stare at my computer all day, work unpaid overtime to “be a team player,” take endless Zoom calls, or feel like my worth is tied to my productivity or how busy I am.

Yes, I believe in women’s rights. Of course I do. I’m deeply grateful I can vote, drive, have my own bank account, and say what I think without being burned at the stake (though, let’s be real – I have a feeling that I would’ve been one of those women burned for conspiracy of being a witch back in the day even though I praise Jesus on the regular).

But my idea of feminism is rooted in the freedom to choose. And I choose a slower life. A nurturing life. A creative life.

I want to slow down. I want to live. I want to keep a cozy home. Bake sourdough and banana bread. Raise chickens. Tend to my garden. Raise a family. Be soft. Be held. Be feminine.

I’ll always be a writer. I’ll always have ideas to chase and stories to tell. But I want that to complement my life, not consume it.

Writing this out and sending it into the world feels like a sigh of relief. It’s crazy how my opinion on the matter has changed so much over the past decade. I almost fell for the modern-day feminism wrapped up in shiny paper. That was until I opened it up and saw a hollow box of never-ending carrot-chasing, hundreds of unread emails, and bending boundaries with a boss who wants to call and text you at 11pm because “it’s urgent.” Because we all know it’s really not.

I also always thought that women who were stay-at-home moms or homemakers were missing out on the true female experience. They weren’t out of the house working or socializing, so what could they possibly be getting out of life? But oh how I was wrong. It’s actually leaning into your nurturing side – with kids, a husband, a home, and a garden – where your honest, raw, and intuitive self shows up. It’s where women have always thrived and found happiness in. We are natural caretakers, not workaholic machines meant to be the breadwinner and bring home six figures to prove a point.

This post comes nearly a month after I officially ended a three-year stint at a faux-corporate editorial and creative job. “Faux” because I was technically a freelancer with no benefits or PTO but was still expected to work a full-time 9–5 (and often more). A typical scenario in the music and entertainment world, where sketchy structures and blurred lines are par for the course.

That chapter has closed. And you know what? These past four weeks have been the slowest and most peaceful weeks I’ve had in years.

I’ve been casually looking on LinkedIn for traditional copywriting jobs that come with a hefty benefits package and unlimited PTO. I’ve sent out emails to music, holistic health, and travel publications with my resume attached and some polished pitches to ramp up my freelancing bylines. I’ve also tapped my personal network and connections to let them know that I’m open to new opportunities.

And I am excited for what’s next. But if I sit down and truly allow myself to speak the truth of how I want to spend my days and what my future looks like, it’s surely not going back to a 9-5.

I don’t want to be a boss bitch. I want to be a stay-at-home mom and homemaker. And in today’s world, that might be the most radical thing a woman can say.

My goal right now is to be happy and not stressed. To take each day as it comes, free from pressure to be maximally productive. I’m taking on freelancing work as it feels right to me and not from the need to make money. I have savings and I’m comfortable right now. I’m not rushing into the next shiny job offer just to keep climbing a mountain I no longer care about.

The past 10 years – roughly 18 to 28 years old – I was grinding my life away to be a full-time music and travel journalist when everyone around me told me it was impossible. They said the job didn’t exist (semi-true as you won’t find a job posting on LinkedIn). I obviously proved them all wrong and found myself at the top of this impossible mountain I discovered and climbed myself.

And now? Like Fleetwood Mac once said: “Climb a mountain and turn around.”

I’ve turned around. I’m walking back down the mountain into green pastures full stillness, softness, and self-trust. Grounding myself in what actually matters.

If I imagine the next 10 years, I see this:

• A loving, healthy home with my partner and our dog.

• Time outside with Mother Nature, my hands deep in the soil and tending to a homestead.

• Fresh food I’ve grown, baked, and shared with people I love.

• Stories I write on my own terms – about music, food, travel, and holistic living.

• A strong body. A calm mind. A closer relationship with God.

• Better bonds with my parents and siblings.

• And happy, healthy children I get to nurture and raise.